In my line of work, everything needs to be done "IMMEDIATELY!!!!" - Everything is a "rush" - Everything is due tomorrow - Everything is critical - And try as one might, no one is ever compliant or nice - Rarely is anything just done right the first time and there is no stress
My parents (well, more like my mom) raised me on old school metaphors - There were always the ones that made sense like "Don't count your chickens before they hatch", which means you shouldn't expect anything to happen until it does, you should only do the work and be hopeful it turns out right because life is unpredictable - OK, got it. - But there were always other ones that were silly
In this instance, the silly one is "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar" - Well, I'm not looking to catch any flies, I'm looking to get shit done, and in the corporate world, its quite rare you will find someone willing to do something for you just because you were nice about it - Quite the contrary actually - If you want something done fast or at all, you have to harass people day after day and when they still don't comply, you have to threaten them with a court appearance
I would love to say this is just because the corporate world is "dog eat dog" as it were, but this is simply not the case - No, people in general don't respond to the polite approach anymore - When people are polite, other people take advantage of the politeness - Ever hold a door for someone and everyone assumes you are holding it for them and no one takes the door while you stand there like a fool and end up being late for work only to be reprimanded for not calling ahead of time if you would be late? Well if you haven't, then you are one of those assholes who would walk right through that door and not even say "thank you" as you walked by - Stop being so selfish you jerk.
The solution: always be a dick - When you are an asshole, that forces the other person to be the nice guy you can take advantage of - You can only get ahead in life by stepping on the faces of people who are willing to let you take their credit or on the toes of the people who are holding the door for you while you yell on your cell phone to your poor secretary who has been in the office for the past two hours trying to get you ready for the meeting you told her about at 4:58 last night - you deserve this big guy, you worked hard to be a douche bag
hurriedly yours,
Sarah M.
